Friday Funnies

For all the teachers, former teachers, future teachers & parents….

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

A laugh for the day to get away from politics! Enjoy! STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM I would have given him 100% for his wit!!! Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? * It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? * No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have? * Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

Spread the laughter, share the cheer Let’s be happy, while we’re here !!

You never realize what you have until its gone. For example, toilet paper.

Romance

> A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: "If you are
> sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile.
> If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip.
> If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!
> The husband, typically non-romantic, replied,    "
>
> I am in the outhouse.  Please advise."


The Cover Up

One day a man drove his secretary home after she fell quite ill at work.  Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily.
Later, that night the man and his wife were driving to a restaurant.
Suddenly he looked down and spotted a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat.  Not wanting to be conspicuous, he waited until his wife was looking out her window before he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car.  With a sigh of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot.  That’s when he noticed his wife squirming around in her seat.
“Honey,” she asked, “have you seen my other shoe?”
  • Thinking the Same
    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl – and one night, an owl finally called back to him.
    For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth.  He even kept a log of the “conversation.”
    Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in inter species communication, his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor.
    “My husband spends his nights …  calling out to owls,” she said.
    “That’s odd,” the neighbor replied.  “So does my husband.”
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