Once again, Suite that I have forced my family to be homeless! And this time we lost a lot of personal property, 2 flat screen tv’s, all our DVDs, DVD cabinet, printer, and others.  I keep doi g this to my family and don’t know why! 


I’m floundering!

Just when I thought I saw a light at the end of the tunnel, a wall went up. Why is it that people sy one thing and mean another. I know I lie, but this was downright deception. Give me hope and then snatch it away!

I have a real problem!

Whenever I get nervous and start to get anxiety,  I lie! I know I do but just can’t stop. My lies hurt others more than they hurt me.  I lie so much anymore, I’m not sure what is fact or fiction. My lies have caused my family so much hardship and pain.

Why do I keep doing this? I need help.

Because of my lies, my family has no idea how much trouble we are in.

If there’s a higher power,  Please help my family!  I don’t care about me,  just them!

No one wants to help

Why is it that when you find yourself in a bad situation, no one wants to help? Whether it be financial, mental, medical, no agency will help you for more than a short period of time. Why is it, when the trouble is caused by an error the US government made that caused a domino effect, everyone tells you that they can’t help you.
I don’t have any family that could help so I have to reach out to aid agencies that just tell me, Since it is a problem with Social Security and it happened more than 60 days ago, we can’t help.
Now, not only do we have the threat of financial ruin, but all of our mental states are collapsing. All the Citalopram in the world is not helping.

World Events

Just finished watching the replay of Meet The Press, I can’t believe that the leaders of Israel and Gaza just tried to defend themselves to Americans. They need to stop this stupid “war” and quit killing innocent people.
Howard Stern said If you’re anti-Israel, then you’re anti-America. It’s the only democracy over there, it’s the only friend we have who’s willing to fight and stand up for what’s right.” – See more at: http://www.opposingviews.com/i/entertainment/howard-stern-if-youre-anti-israel-then-youre-anti-america#sthash.mxixEW7g.dpuf
Well, I do not side with either government and I am definitely a Proud American. Bite Me Howard!

My feelings

Why am I forbidden from airing my feelings on the web and social networks and others are? I can’t say I’m depressed and worried about money, my health and the feeling that I am becoming more of a liability to my family than an asset.  I can’t say that the thought of having to leave the house scares the shit out of me, that I don’t have enough energy most times to make my own food or take a shower. Most of the time I wish death would pay me visit. I have no one I can talk to about how I feel. Who can afford to go to mental health counseling.